I despise the fact that nothing in particular seems to keep me up at night. It's the swirling, restless thoughts that plague me when sleep is put on hold
Why the fuck am I wide awake at 1 AM? I was about to have a real good time with that actress from that underrated 90s sitcom I had a cross on back in the day. Nah..Not that one, it's the other one...Yeah, you know the one!
To whatever deity I need to take complains to, I'm not a bad person...if I am, it hasn't been proven...LET ME HAVE THIS!! 😭
These weird pockets of time aren't just annoyances. They're actually the blueprints for my days as of late. They dictate the tasks I tackle, the projects I pursue. It's a strange trade-off, this insomnia-fueled productivity.
But man, I miss the sleep of my school days. That deep, undisturbed rest, the kind where you wake up feeling genuinely refreshed.
Also, not at all sure what day it even is anymore. Those naps are unfuckwitable, and someone should go about bottling that essence. They'd make a fortune, and the world would be a better place all around.
I didn't appreciate it then, didn't realize how precious it was. All I needed was the steady hum of a box fan, and Dreamland was a guaranteed destination. The Sandman used to be my best friend. Now, he walks around like he don't know nobody.
Still, I can't deny the value of those extra hours in the quiet darkness. They're my quarterback sessions, my strategic planning moments. It's during these sleepless nights that I piece together ideas, solve problems, and formulate plans. The GameShark code search environment I've patterned from this irritating ritual of staring at the ceiling at 3 am is actually pretty useful.
Of course, I'd much rather be sleeping. The lack of quality rest definitely takes its toll. I'm constantly tired, and I struggle to focus during the day. But I've learned to adapt, to find a way to make the most of my sleepless nights.
I have a feeling that this strange ritual, this nocturnal productivity, will eventually pay off. I'm confident that the ideas and plans I'm developing during these late-night sessions will lead to something meaningful. Then, hopefully, I can finally get back to a more comfortable sleep pattern.
Until then, I'll continue to embrace the midnight blueprint. I'll continue to let my restless thoughts guide me, to turn my insomnia into inspiration. Because even though I'm tired, I know that these sleepless nights are shaping my future. And that's worth losing a little sleep for.